Greetings Daizies,
On November 22nd I turned the beautiful age of 25! I feel very content with being 25 and still very much excited about the year to come. I think around the halfway point of the year is when I felt more content, relaxed and optimistic about turning 25 because I viewed it as a blessing and it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be hitting my mid-twenties. With the way 2020 was going, I felt it wasn’t necessary to feel scared when the next day wasn’t even promised. I’d rather turn another year older than not get older at all.
I also feel like there’s a lot that I have learned about myself and can identify the many ways I have grown as an adult. When I started this blog DaibyDai I was 19 years old, getting ready to travel abroad for the first time, and had just finished my freshman year of college. Since then, life has continued to go on and as they say on Grey’s Anatomy “ the carousel never stops turning.” So here are the 25 most important lessons I’ve learned on this carousel of life.
MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT
I feel like I have learned so much in the last year from practicing mindfulness and a lot in the last few years from having a therapist. In my early twenties, it felt like if I made the best possible decisions and did everything “right” then my life would be okay right? It’s life-changing to have practices in your toolkit to help you cope with unexpected situations, grow as a person, and manage stress. Advice that has stood out to me is learning that life is neither happy or sad. It’s usually in a middle ground of just “okay” and there are moments that push the pendulum one way or another. I often was frustrated when something went wrong and felt self-defeating thoughts like “why can’t I just be happy?” or “I was happy for three days and something ALWAYS happens” but reframing that with the advice I had from my therapist in college helped me to not look at setbacks as “something is always going wrong” and more like “this is life and this too shall pass.”
YOU WILL ALWAYS MAKE MISTAKES
We hear the phrase “it’s okay to make mistakes” all of the time but at what age do we truly believe that it’s okay? The truth is, I hate making mistakes. It’s so inconvenient. For most of my life I would over analyze mistakes more than needed because I felt it could’ve been avoidable with better planning or knowledge. The breakthrough for me was realizing that no amount of planning or preparation can make me invincible to making mistakes. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES and that’s what makes you human. Once you finish making that one mistake, it surely won’t be the last and probably has a .0001% impact on your life when you look back even just a year from the moment the mistake happened.
PRIORITIZE YOUR HEALTH
If something in your body doesn’t feel right then push for answers. It’s important to advocate for yourself and listen to your body. A huge part of my experience with understanding my body began when I started dealing with Crohn’s Disease at 19 years old. It took years to finally get a diagnosis and I definitely experienced feeling like I wasn’t being understood or heard by my doctor. I had to push for a referral to be seen by a gastroenterologist who ordered the specialized tests to understand what was going on. I had to listen to my instincts when deciding to try other methods of natural treatment to lower my inflammation levels when I felt pressure to select medicine as treatment. This experience required a lot of patience, diligence, and listening to my gut, figuratively, and literally. But overall I just know it is so important to get the answers needed when something feels off, stay on top of your appointments, and take care of your health because everything else follows – mental, emotional, and overall wellbeing.
THERE IS POWER IN SAYING “NO”
I love a good “no.” I have never had a problem with not doing something simply because I didn’t want to. No one can really make me feel bad for saying no simply because if I feel it in my spirit to say no then I am ultimately at peace. I want to keep this mindset.
TRAVELING IS THE BEST THING EVER
I’ve been to 20 countries so far and I have to say it’s been the most rewarding experience of my life. I can actually look back and say I’ve been to Greece, Ghana, Portugal, Colombia, and Cuba. I really went to all of these places I dreamed about! It’s truly a blessing to be able to look at a country on Instagram or a blog and then just GO! I am so glad I started traveling solo early on to so that I didn’t miss opportunities to travel simply because I was by myself. I love the feeling of stepping out in a new neighborhood, using maps to find landmarks and having my legs sore from walking by the end of the day. I love museums and learning how one country is interconnected with the histories of other countries. I love imagining the lives of strangers in new places. And I love how free I feel when I’m in a new land and learning. It’s truly been the most amazing experience and I definitely have missed it a lot this year but best believe when things are better I’ll be on the next plane out ASAP!
YOGA EVERYDAY IS AN AMAZING HABIT
I started my morning habit of yoga at 10 years old and haven’t looked back since. Before I knew it was yoga and I as just eager to become more flexible so I could do the splits, I knew something about stretching my body helped set the tone of the day. It simply feels GOOD! And it’s been essential to helping me feel grounded each day.
LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION
I giggle sometimes when they say Sagittarius people thing they’re always right but I mean… it’s true. Honestly, I hold my discernment as one of my best interpersonal skills. Based off of a simple interaction I can tell a lot about someone’s personality, values, fears, and intentions. I pay attention to tone, how something is said, and body language. And 11 times out of 10 I saw things coming. I’m really always knowing. So I tell myself to remember my first instinct about a situation or person so I’ll never be caught off guard.
DO WHAT’S IN YOUR BEST INTEREST
You’ll look around and realize that’s really what everyone around you is doing anyway.
MIND THE BUSINESS THAT PAYS YOU
Minding your business is the key to avoiding a lot of unneccessary stress or drama.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
A tough one but you never know what someone is going through or what it took for them to be where they are. This is a key lesson I am working on in terms of my journey in entrepreneurship. It’s easy to look at other people and compare their success to my own and feel like I don’t measure up. But you never know who is looking at you trying to be where you are at currently. It feels so much better spending moments celebrating the steps forward I’ve taken and not letting the journey pass me by while looking at someone else’s journey.
LOVE YOUR BODY IN ALL IT’S SHAPES AND PHASES
My body will change and that’s okay. It is moving, breathing and keeping my alive even through this panoramic. Compliment yourself in the mirror. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
LOVE YOUR HAIR
All of it. The kinks, the coils, the different textures. Your natural hair is glorious!
IT IS WHAT IT IS
When you finally accept the things you can’t change, just laugh and say “it is what it is.” I now like to think of a visual representation of letting go of things I can’t change by writing down the situation on a piece of paper, crumbling it up, and giving it to a bird that flies away into the sky far away until I can’t see it anymore.
CALL YOUR ELDERS OFTEN
Take a day out of the week to call your elders and talk to them. Ask them what they were like when they were your age, things about their life, and even write down the answers. You’ll be amazed with the things you learn.
DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF
You are doing the best you can. Please be nice to yourself. It is okay.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Your breath is something you will always have with you. Your breath is with you on the good days and the bad days. Practice breathing exercises and learn how to control your breathing to calm yourself.
ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT
It is hard to get through life on your own. Open your mouth and ask for help. People aren’t mind readers and won’t know if you need help unless you speak up.
DOCUMENT YOUR FEELINGS AND JOURNAL OFTEN
A great source of reflection, I’ve found journaling a great way to vent and express my feelings. When I find myself coming to a same problem or discussion I can look back on my thought process earlier in the year to help me stand by my decisions. Journaling helps me to see the growth in who I am and to see what problems no longer matter. I can see the many things I’ve made it through and that I ended up okay.
SAY HOW YOU FEEL AND LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD
Your feelings are valid. What you think is important. Say it. Don’t let anyone think they can walk all over you or treat you any kind of way. Period.
IT’S OKAY TO HAVE MANY INTERESTS
I have a lot of interests and sometimes it can be hard to figure out where to spend my time. But that’s okay. I can do as many or as few activities as I want. Allow yourself to move freely between your interests as long as it serves you.
LEARN HOW TO SLOW DOWN
Don’t put more on your plate than you can bear. Outline the top 3 things you want to get done and focus on that. You aren’t superhuman and need time to rest. It’s okay if you do all or nothing on your to-do list. You don’t always have to be busy or moving fast.
ENJOY “ME” TIME
Being by myself and enjoying my own company is so relaxing. It’s refreshing and refueling to have a night in, to go shopping by myself, or take a solo trip. Protect these times and make sure you enjoy them.
FRIENDSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT
Building friendships take time and it’s never too late to make a new friend. You can deepen a relationship by opening up and sharing more about yourself. It can be scary but try it and see what happens. If it works out, cool. If not, don’t let it stop you from trying again. Having a friend to lean on and share what’s really on your mind is extremely helpful.
People Will Mess Up – Offer Them A Chance to Fix It
Even the people you admire most will do something you don’t like. It doesn’t mean you have to cut them off. If you’ve known someone a while there will come a time where there is a disagreement. Don’t hold a grudge or cancel them all together but talk about it first. Let them explain their side of the story. And accept apologies only if they’re sincere. But don’t be a fool. There comes a time where you do have to let people go.
SELF CARE TIME IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY
Take time to do things that are pleasing to you. I love taking long naps, dancing, walking, eating sandwiches, traveling, laughing, watching movies, deep conditioning my hair, and massages. Do all of these things as much as possible! Life is too short to spend all your time being serious. Feeding my soul IS being productive.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned so far. Some hard times and good times led me to cherish the lessons above so that just goes to show it takes both the good and the bad to strengthen my resilience and confidence that make me who I am today.
As always,
Loooved this!