My Golden Birthday|22 on 22!

Hi Daizies!

This is my first blog post since turning 22 years old. I’m typing different, I’m breathing different lol. November has brought so much good news and I celebrated my golden birthday to celebrate the new blessings. A golden birthday happens when you turn the same age as the day of your birthday, so I turned 22 on November 22nd.

The weeks leading up to my birthday were very active and led into some amazing news.I entered fall recruiting season ambitious and organized, with the goal of landing an amazing job. From mid-October to mid-November, I interviewed with 4 companies and there was a week where I had 2 final interviews and 3 midterms in the same week!  I didn’t know how I was going to do it sometimes, because I was literally preparing for 3 different classes while trying to prep for different company interviews. But after juggling all of these demands, I received two job offers for very competitive positions and one being my dream job in marketing!!! I did great on my midterms too. It feels so surreal that all of this is really happening. I truly spoke this into existence.

What I Did for my Birthday

I rang in my 22nd birthday i style of course. It was a girls night out with hours left until my big day. We shut the karaoke bar down and I turned 22 as I performed Formation with the crowd going wild (dramatization). Afterwards, we went to a 90s night at a nightclub we hadn’t yet been to. On my actual birthday, I slept in and started my day with yoga like I always do. I took a while redoing a portion of my faux locs and then quickly went to get a pedicure. The night began with a mini photoshoot and then we headed downtown for dinner at a grill house. I ended the night dancing and surrounded by good vibes.

Reflecting

Looking back on my 21st year on earth, I would say I experienced a lot and learned that I am such a strong person. It definitely wasn’t my easiest year. It was the year of unexpected shifts with the dynamics of basically all of the important relationships with the people in my life. I couldn’t control the actions or lives of others. The only thing I could control, was myself and what I wanted. I continued to travel, had my best academic quarter in school, an internship in advertising, and actually found counseling really helpful. I am proud of myself for still valuing my priorities and doing things that I really wanted to do, no matter what was happening with other people.

Being 21 really pushed me to my limits. The highs were really good but the lows were really really low. There were so many times I wished my life was easier. In April, I really just wanted to be done with school. I thought about dropping Information Systems and getting up out of school as fast as I could. But I stuck it out. I wouldn’t have been able to interview for the position I just got if I had’ve just stopped before really seeing everything through. The past year, I really wanted things and people to stop changing and moving around. I had to relearn a different life to adjust to the things I couldn’t control. And I’m still here. I survived. I learned that no matter what’s going on with everyone else, I still have to deal with me and it’s important to take care of myself first.

At 22, I feel on top of the world. I worked so hard to get to where I am now and it’s time to celebrate the grind.  I am hoping for more laughs, happiness, and smiles than the bad times. Being worried is tiresome. Trying to change and make people do what you want them to do, is just so tiring and stressful. I deserve to be happy. At 22, I want to let go of things that do not concern me. I am not going to exert any more energy into concerns that aren’t benefiting my life at all, I think I did that enough the past year. I know what I’m capable of now. I’m even more independent as ever and I know that I can’t really control change but that I will be okay. I’m ready to keep on evolving and growing.

I thank God for another year. I made it.

-POP

 

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Self Care Trip 2017 | I Think Things Will Be Okay

Greetings Daizies,

I was on a roll in August with frequent uploads until I went to Ghana. It was a jam packed program and I’ve basically written tons of posts in my head lol. It’s crazy that it’s almost October and I’ll be starting my final year of college. Right now I’m in Portugal on a well needed self care trip. I needed a buffer between Ghana and going straight home. When I study abroad, I find it hard to go straight from an active, adventurous, and fun program filled with exploring to the rigorous demands of school, life, and rainy Seattle. It can truly be depressing. My intentions with these 3 days in Portugal is for reflection, rest, and to get into the right mindset to go back home.

I could feel myself getting anxious during my last week in Ghana. I would wake up with my heart beating fast and feeling like I wanted to cry. I had literally just woken up and nothing had happened yet. That’s how I knew I was just generally nervous and anxious, when I was just waking up and already sad. I strongly related to Solange’s ‘Cranes in the Sky’ when she said “I tried to run it away
Thought then my head be feeling clearer
I traveled 70 states
Thought moving round make me feel better” because when I’m away from home I can just leave my worries, problems, responsibilities, people, anything really at home. I feel free and I’m learning when I’m gone. But the sudden reality that this was my last study abroad program and around the corner was real life, kept running through my mind. Everything is different regarding a lot of things in my life compared to coming back abroad from Italy and the UK. I just don’t know what life is going to be like with the change of dynamics in personal relationships. The closer my departure came, the more anxious I became. I didn’t want to necessarily stay but I knew I didn’t want to go home just yet. This is what my trip to Portugal is for.

I’ve been in Lisbon for just a day and I can say I haven’t felt anxious or sad. I took a long nap when I arrived and then explored the area until I found live music and some food. Along the way I went shopping and bought a couple of cute pieces for my new fall wardrobe. Going solo travel is so fun because I’m on my own time and can literally do whatever I want and go off schedule depending on my mood. Most of the time, people want to just go go go as soon as they land. It’s like every minute needs to be occupied or its considered wasting time. But when its just me, myself, and I things are planned according to my mood and interests. A 3 hour nap was needed and some shopping in between occurred just because I wanted it to. And right now, I’m just blogging and have a  general idea of what time I want to leave the house, but there’s no set time or another person I have to be mindful of. It’s just what I needed right now after a whole month of organized activity and being with a group.

I know that this won’t be forever but I want my relaxed mindset to last a while. I’m going to do some sincere journaling to brainstorm solutions to problems I can control and ways I can be at peace with things I have no control over. I know I would rather be happy than sad. But there’s just days where I don’t know how to start my day because my mind is overwhelmed with every possible problem and challenging scenario in the world. It always seems to happen when I’m about to start a brand new day or go out somewhere. But when I get moving and start my day, I don’t have time to think about the reasons why I felt numb waking up. I want to work through whatever that is and not just keeping myself busy an avoiding it. I know I briefly looked into therapy but I put it on hold since I was about to travel. I might resume that search when I get back. Maybe it’ll be a rewarding experience. I’ve heard it’s lit lol.

I’m going straight into my career search when I get back home. It’s crazy to think this entire chapter of undergrad is about to come to an end. I think the idea of being in a full-time job is scary because it’s not just a 2 or 3 month internship, but you’re really there…every weekday…forever basically.  I think for a while I tried avoided this reality because I know my overall goal is to have my own business. I would have thought that I would already be a business owner right now at 21 and that hasn’t happened yet. Not being where I want with my goal as an entrepreneur was very stressful probably earlier this summer but now I’m in a different place. When I look at the age 21 typed right now it actually is quite young lol. I guess I’m saying this to just reflect on an ongoing reality that I’ve put myself at ease with so that I can help myself realize that I can make peace with my current problems as well. I know going on dozens of interviews is nerve-wracking but I’ve been on dozens before and I just want to get this done and secure this bag. I won’t loose sight of having a business and I will continue to build my brand, take action on my ideas, and make progress step by step (and daibydai).

By now I have almost devoured an entire box of grapes. Grapes were so rare in Ghana an d just 10 large grapes were equivalent to $3 USD. So you can guess that I refrained from eating grapes. On today’s agenda I plan to go to the Castelo de S. Jorge, Museu Colecao Berado and Bario Alto. We shall see how the day goes. And at night, I will be doing some sincere journaling, reflecting, and slowly getting into the productive mode of facing my responsibilities.

When I look at my life now, I know that I am exactly where I wanted to be 5 years ago. I’ve actually gone to so many places I dreamed of. I made it into my major. I’ve passed all those classes that I thought I wouldn’t. I made it through back to back interviews and had some interesting internships. I finally have the fro I always wanted. I think I’m doing just fine and I’ve made it so far. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with the reality I’ve been so reluctant to face but right now I’m just thinking to myself and I think I will be okay.

 

View from the Castello S. Jorge

 

 

-POP