“You’re too young to worry about that”
“When I was your age I thought I knew everything too”
“Just wait until you’re my age, you’ll see”
I kinda roll my eyes when I hear these phrases. I know it’s meant with good intentions…but helloooo every problem DOES seem like a crisis as a neo-adult. I listen to a lot of podcasts and all of them are hosted by black men and women in their early-mid thirties. Their perspectives are often eye opening and reassuring. a recent episode titled “Real Love”
I was listening to my favorite podcast, The Read, a few weeks ago in an episode titled “Real Love ft. The Ellises”, when there was a letter that a 23 year old girl wrote in for lookin for advice. She was so sad about a relationship about to end and she was scared she’d be alone forever once it ended. While they gave pretty solid advice, of course her age seemed to justify her thought process and fears.
“You are twenty…three” Kid Fury said. “ All the things that happened at 23 that I don’t even remember now?” Crissle chimmed in,“I was like oh I’m big grown now…I’m older than 21”. “I can legally drink for 2 years”.
When Crissle said when she was 23 she felt big grown because she was older than 21 I felt personally called out and attacked lol. I too, feel big grown at a fresh 23 and feel “mature” because I’ve been legally able to drink for 2 years. Well that sat me all the way down lol. h
“From 15-20 you think you know everything
From 20-25 you KNOW you know everything
25-30 you realize sh*t I didn’t know wtf I was doing
Then you spend your 30s tryna fix all the things you were doing in your 20s” – Devale Ellis
Question to the 30 somethings and older
Being in your 30s seems hyped up. Lots of people talk about it being a golden decade and clarity blah blah blah. Only time I doubt that is when I watch This is Us and Jack and Becca look hella stressed with triplets. But anyways, I write this so maybe when I am in my 30s I will look back and laugh and calm myself down for whatever it is that I’m stressed about then. BUT when I hear those things from those slightly older than me by a decade or so, sometimes it can be frustrating because it can truly feel like the world is crashing on down with my 23 year old problems. How can y’all be so sure that it’s just a lesson to learn and that I’ll get over it? What if it DOESN’T work out? Don’t you know that it feels like…a really big deal?
Then I think maybe y’all are right
I don’t even think there’s really an age where you do become “grown”. I took a second to think about the chapter in life before my 20s and think of things in a different perspective. In 7 years I’ll be 30, 7 years ago I was 16. When I thought of it this way NOW I could see why people older say the things they do. When I was 16 I was so stressed out to literal TEARS about deciding whether or not to do running start, college credit while in high school, or just do AP courses. I made a whole pros and cons list, cried, and had my heart beating fast and all anxious about how much I would be missing out if I took all my classes at community college because junior year was going to be the best year ever. I giggle about this now because it was…A REALLY BIG DEAL at the time. And now, I couldn’t tell you where more than 3 people from high school are right now and I worrying about missing out on high school was the least of my problems. Getting that college credit ultimately helped me apply to my major earlier, have junior status to apply for my first study abroad program freshman year, which helped me fit 3 study abroad programs all into my college experience, and study 2 concentrations while graduating in 3.5 years.
It mattered at the time but 7 years later my biggest decision is something I don’t even think about and something that worked out in the long-run.
Woo chile the wisdom that my twenties have bestowed upon me …jk. But forreal, I guess I kind of do see the point in what’s being said to me now. I WISH my problems were as simple as deciding if I want to take college credit or not sometimes. But how I dealt with things in my late teens until now have provided me with learning opportunities and experiences about how to make great decisions.
So I get it I guess
Maybe I’m not grown GROWN but I’m…grown-ish? There’s so many firsts happening in your early twenties. I know I’ll come out on the other side just as I have so many times in my life so far.
God bless these 20 somethings.