“Oh you’re only *insert young age* you don’t need to worry about it” and other phrases GROWN people say

“You’re too young to worry about that”

“When I was your age I thought I knew everything too”

“Just wait until you’re my age, you’ll see”

I kinda roll my eyes when I hear these phrases. I know it’s meant with good intentions…but helloooo every problem DOES seem like a crisis as a neo-adult. I listen to a lot of podcasts and all of them are hosted by black men and women in their early-mid thirties. Their perspectives are often eye opening and reassuring. a recent episode titled “Real Love”

I was listening to my favorite podcast, The Read, a few weeks ago in an episode titled “Real Love ft. The Ellises”, when there was a letter that a 23 year old girl wrote in for lookin for advice. She was so sad about a relationship about to end and she was scared she’d be alone forever once it ended. While they gave pretty solid advice, of course her age seemed to justify her thought process and fears.

“You are twenty…three” Kid Fury said. “ All the things that happened at 23 that I don’t even remember now?” Crissle chimmed in,“I was like oh I’m big grown now…I’m older than 21”. “I can legally drink for 2 years”.

When Crissle said when she was 23 she felt big grown because she was older than 21 I felt personally called out and attacked lol. I too, feel big grown at a fresh 23 and feel “mature” because I’ve been legally able to drink for 2 years. Well that sat me all the way down lol. h


“From 15-20 you think you know everything
From 20-25 you KNOW you know everything
25-30 you realize sh*t I didn’t know wtf I was doing
Then you spend your 30s tryna fix all the things you were doing in your 20s” – Devale Ellis

Question to the 30 somethings and older

Being in your 30s seems hyped up. Lots of people talk about it being a golden decade and clarity blah blah blah. Only time I doubt that is when I watch This is Us and Jack and Becca look hella stressed with triplets. But anyways, I write this so maybe when I am in my 30s I will look back and laugh and calm myself down for whatever it is that I’m stressed about then. BUT when I hear those things from those slightly older than me by a decade or so, sometimes it can be frustrating because it can truly feel like the world is crashing on down with my 23 year old problems. How can y’all be so sure that it’s just a lesson to learn and that I’ll get over it? What if it DOESN’T work out? Don’t you know that it feels like…a really big deal?

Then I think maybe y’all are right

I don’t even think there’s really an age where you do become “grown”. I took a second to think about the chapter in life before my 20s and think of things in a different perspective. In 7 years I’ll be 30, 7 years ago I was 16. When I thought of it this way NOW I could see why people older say the things they do. When I was 16 I was so stressed out to literal TEARS about deciding whether or not to do running start, college credit while in high school, or just do AP courses. I made a whole pros and cons list, cried, and had my heart beating fast and all anxious about how much I would be missing out if I took all my classes at community college because junior year was going to be the best year ever. I giggle about this now because it was…A REALLY BIG DEAL at the time. And now, I couldn’t tell you where more than 3 people from high school are right now and I worrying about missing out on high school was the least of my problems. Getting that college credit ultimately helped me apply to my major earlier, have junior status to apply for my first study abroad program freshman year, which helped me fit 3 study abroad programs all into my college experience, and study 2 concentrations while graduating in 3.5 years.

It mattered at the time but 7 years later my biggest decision is something I don’t even think about and something that worked out in the long-run.

Woo chile the wisdom that my twenties have bestowed upon me …jk. But forreal, I guess I kind of do see the point in what’s being said to me now. I WISH my problems were as simple as deciding if I want to take college credit or not sometimes. But how I dealt with things in my late teens until now have provided me with learning opportunities and experiences about how to make great decisions.

So I get it I guess

Maybe I’m not grown GROWN but I’m…grown-ish? There’s so many firsts happening in your early twenties. I know I’ll come out on the other side just as I have so many times in my life so far.

God bless these 20 somethings.

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Update: Summer 2017 Fitness

Greeting Daizies,

I wanted to post an update regarding my summer 2017 fitness goals.During the earlier part of summer, I had signed up for a YMCA membership and was going to the gym 3 times a week. My ultimate goal was to loose 15 pounds by the time school started, become stronger, and have a healthier diet.

Readjusting my Weight-loss Goal to No Weight-loss Goal at All

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Fast forward to now and my outlook on fitness has completely changed. I was so adamant about loosing 15 pounds in order to achieve the weight I had when I was studying abroad. Now, I am not all about weight-loss. Last fall of 20016, I was traveling almost every week which meant walking about 20-30 miles a week. My lifestyle has changed and I don’t want to be stuck trying to force my body to maintain the weight I had at 20 or in high school.

What I’m focused on now is being active in a way that is sustainable. I’ve spent majority of college and actually most of my life with some sort of weight loss goal. Even in middle school I wanted loose weight, usually a small amount, but I always wanted to change something. At some point you gotta just be happy with how your body changes and the way it is.  I’m finally at that point now. My body changes as my lifestyle changes and I want to be more focused on working my way up to actually exercising frequently even when I get busy.

Now I want to focus more on my goal of improving my performance with working out rather than weight loss. This means, being able to run a little longer and lift 10 pound weights with my squats eventually. My weight will fluctuate a few pounds up and down and having a strict schedule of loosing weight became frustrating and wasn’t that fun. I’m at a healthy weight for my height, so I don’t want to put so much pressure on myself to loose so much weight just to be at the same size I was when I was younger. I want to love and appreciate the way my body is now.

Nap or Gym?

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The hardest thing with staying consistent was actually leaving my house to go workout once the weather started getting cold. After class and work, the main thing that’s on my mind is taking a nap, and once I’m in the house I’m in the house.It’s rainy season during the fall and winter, and there’s not much that can make me leave the house once I’m inside lol.So there were several weeks where I was in the zone juggling school and finding the motivation to exercise even at home was difficult. Towards the end of the summer, that fire slowly died down as I was so eager to end work and go to Ghana. When school started I went maybe once a month, and three times this month of December. Sometimes, I did workouts at home when I felt like it. Next year I hope to feel like it more, or maybe incorporate light exercise into my morning routine of yoga. I’ll have more time in the morning/afternoon since my classes start a little later next quarter (it’s my last quarter omg!).

But What About All Those Swiss Rolls?

Okay I can admit my diet hasn’t change much since my summer article. I pretty much eat whatever I want.  On a weekly basis I will most likely eat my famous homemade sub sandwich, some form of chicken and rice, peppered steak, oatmeal/cereal/bagel and cream cheese for breakfast. I’d say overall I have an average/healthy diet. I always have some apples, grapes, bananas, and oranges in rotation and of course I’m drinking plenty of water. But I am a sweets person, and I did just eat a box of swiss rolls to myself within 3 days lol. I hate depriving myself of what I love (chocolate cakes and cookies lol) so why should I? I just know that once I start, it’s hard to stop. Therefore, not getting into the habit of ALWAYS buying Tollhouse cookies and Simply juices are better for me. I “try” *keyword is “try”*

Overall, my biggest health success was accepting my body weight as is and having a more positive body image and increasing my water intake.

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Have a great New Year everyone!-POP