If you’ve followed my blog or my journey’s traveling on YouTube, you’d know that I’m a huge advocate for solo travel. My first solo trip to Barcelona in 2016 happened on accident and I had no intention to be in a new country by myself. I don’t know what type of person I’d be if I hadn’t learned the lessons I learned of confidence and independence through travel in my early 20s. After my early travel experiences solo, I ventured on to do even more things alone like going to the On The Run II concert, the movies, restaurants, and more. Yet, the thought of spending my birthday alone just seem so far fetched and to be honest I thought it would be sad. But with many things, the greatest lesson I learned came from taking the risk.
Why I Decided to Travel Solo on My Birthday
Traveling with people before the pandemic was hard on its own, so it was even more difficult trying to plan in advance to get a group together in late November in 2021. Anything can change when traveling during a pandemic so I always kept in mind that I would have to be flexible. Leading up to my birthday I knew I wanted to be in a warm sunny climate and spend my birthday doing what I love most – traveling. I was fully aware I might not get a group of people to go with me, so I had the mindset that no matter what I was going to go anyway. What started out as an invitation to at least 9 people turned out to maybe 4 people going, down to 1 friend who could join me for part of the trip. All in all, I would still be spending majority of the trip alone and ultimately my bday by myself in the beautiful country of Costa Rica.
I’m going to summarizes some thoughts I had as I embarked on this journey and maybe some thoughts you might have as well.
Thoughts You Might Have as You Embark on Your Solo Birthday Adventure
Am I Really Going to Do This?
Flights booked and the very last “sorry sis I can’t make it” text had been received. I was officially spending my 26th birthday by myself. I talked myself into being sure of my decision and feeling like I was so brave to do this on my own, but I definitely had my doubts. It really hit me when I was having a bad day about a week before my flight. Already stressed, the little voice in my head said “see, and you really think you’re gonna have fun by yourself? You’re not even have fun right now and you’re at HOME” But that’s exactly when doubt trickles in. When you’re already feeling defeated about something completely, it’s easy to project that onto a different worry and magnify those concerns. I had to just cry it out and time moved on(which is a bigger life lesson I’ve learned these past few years…time definitely just keeps moving). I would say the hardest part about getting ready for spending a birthday solo was being at home because once the trip started I knew I was going to enjoy it no matter what (we’ll get to that part alter)
Will I Have Fun?
All of my birthdays I remember, I can see the bright smiling faces of either my friends or family or both. Every year I received some sort of kind act, gift, or hug. There was something dedicated to me. Some sort of dancing, signing, etc. All with people. How could I suddenly change how I was celebrating my birthday when I lowkey have been expecting my birthday to be fun based on who is around me and how I planned my birthday? All of a sudden, that safety net of expecting those around me to make things special for me wouldn’t be there and I had no idea what to expect.
Is it Bad to Start Off A New Year Alone?
I also had this weird thought of like, “am I putting loneliness into the atmosphere by being alone?” Kind of like starting the New Year off alone, it ~seems~ like you’re saying to the universe “hello I would like for the rest of my year to be lonely just like this day”. However, it’s not who you spend your special day or those occasions with that will suddenly determine the fate of the whole year, it’s where your mind is and how YOU chose to move and change throughout the year. I have the power to create small changes and actions that make up what the year will look like. Also the differentiation between “alone” and “lonely” are really worth talking about. I thought it was sometimes corny when people always stressed this but I never really felt this distinction so clearly until my trip. Lonely (for me) is like this aching feeling of longing for company, it’s like this vibrating feeling swelling inside of you wishing for someone to feel your feelings and change your predicament. Being alone, is doing everything I would do with someone else just…by myself.
Don’t I Need PEOPLE to Make my B-Day Special?
I mean it only comes once a year right? It’s that one day where it’s all about you and everyone caters to the birthday girl. Who would want to miss that? I really thought I needed people I knew to make my day special probably up until the very day. I really learned that
I’m enough to make me feel special. And that’s the sweetest gift I could ever give myself. Feeling worthy. Feeling complete. and feeling whole.
Want to know how I spent my special day? Read further.
My trip to Costa Rica could not have come soon enough for me. I was READY! I booked an 11 day trip to explore San Juan (kind of), La Fortuna, Monteverde, and Manuel Antonio. Since it was a long trip, I think a separate blog post would be needed to summarize my itinerary (but hey I’m finally getting into blogging again so I’m not going to hold myself to such strict content creation just yet) so for now I’lll focus on the solo b-day aspect of it.
I stayed in Airbnb’s for 9 fo the 11 days of the trip and those experience had a range in quality so I definitely wanted to treat myself to a resort for the day before and the actual day of my birthday. I am so glad I did that because I DESERVE. The Parador Resort & Spa in Manuel Antonio was a breath of fresh air for sure! It was just so nice being in a beautiful hotel and have HOT water for showers. I somehow managed to tune out how uncomfortable lukewarm showers were for all of my accommodations prior. So it was only fitting I treat myself like a queen for my big day.
Ahead of my trip, I had booked a day-long ATV + waterfall experience on Airbnb to ensure I was having the adventurous time I wanted on my special day. The experience was listed as “Go Off-Roading with An Adventurist” and it was calling my name. It had amazing reviews and I went ahead and booked it just so I had some plans locked in and to alleviate any stress of figuring out what to do.
Like I said earlier, the main stress of spending my birthday alone took place when I was at home because as soon as I arrived in San Juan I felt FREE. I felt like I could breathe. I had finally made it. I was in the sun. I was practicing Spanish. I was resting, sleeping in, seeing new sites. I was already happy. I knew November 22nd would be another day of happiness because I was already feeling like my most true self.
So when the day rolled around, I stayed up till midnight and danced to Nicki Minaj’s Itty Bitty Piggy. I journaled and documented my first feelings of 26 and got ready for the day. I did yoga outside and watched monkeys cross tree branches. I drank tea and giggled. I went out to the buffet area and got my inclusive breakfast. My shuttle arrived and I was the first one to get picked up for the tour. I was the only black woman. Only person solo. Huge smile on my face. The tour guide knew it was my birthday, I made sure I included that in my booking notes. I’m also not one to be shy about talking about my birthday. I grew up with my birthday being a big deal and it’s not gonna stop now.
We were set to spend 1 hour going towards the waterfall and 1 hour back. It was a tour of rural Costa Rica and through a palm plantation. Since I was by myself, I got to be at the very front of the pack. As I got the hang of it, I felt the wind brush against my face and this adrenaline through my body as I sped as fast as I could through the mud and the dirt road. I looked around me and saw the huge mountains, lush plants and trees, and the sky.
That’s when I got that feeling of peace and I knew I had made the right decision. This is what I wanted to feel. Absolute thrill and adventure on the day I was born. And I got to give myself permission to experience that.
I was smiling so much on that ride because I felt so happy. I had been a little nervous to be alone on my birthday but I never felt more free!
The waterfall was definitely chilly and I got some cute photos. The ride back was fun as well. So glad I brought a rain jacket for the sprinkles. I came back to one of the best meals I had on my trip and was just smiling taking it all in thinking about what a great time I was having ,when one of the guides comes out with a cake and says “we heard it’s someone’s birthday!” and I was like “omg it’s mine!”. Then everyone starts singing happy birthday to me and when I tell you I was legitimately shocked I was LEGITIMATELY SHOCKED. It was enough to get a happy birthday when I got in the van and that I truly had a fun time riding the ATVs because I was content already. So this surprise truly was so sweet. I almost teared up at the tables of strangers wishing my happy birthday lol. I really was felt so much joy.
Later at the hotel, I came in to find a little cupcake and balloon that said happy birthday. I was like awwwww. It was so nice. I had planned for going to the beach, but it had gotten a little dark so I opted for a swim in one of the pools and had a blast. Then I showered and got all dressed up to take myself to dinner. I went to Ronny’s Place and I was not disappointed. I wined and dined myself and was the last one there as the manager played any song I wanted. I danced on FaceTime with my best friend. I made friends with the waiter who took amazing pics of me. I had GOOD time. I truly did. I went to sleep feeling so full and filled with life.
I know now that no matter what, I have what it takes to make myself feel special. What I once thought I needed in others, I had along in myself. I hope I always remember that.
“ Also the differentiation between “alone” and “lonely” are really worth talking about.” LOVE THAT